i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
