maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
