I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
