And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
