She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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