Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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