Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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