As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
