Welp...herpes.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
