Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize