it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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