when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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