I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
