Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize