i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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