All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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