honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
