Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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