Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
