This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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