he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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