Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she smelled like a LAN party
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
