wrigley field is MILF paradise
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What a dumb baby whore.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
