I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
