There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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