Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
