I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
