Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
