Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
