Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
When are your genitals available?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
