He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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