so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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