I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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