took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
