I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have aggressive nipples.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
