did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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