Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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