Are we in a gay sports bar?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize