Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
