i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
