To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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