well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
