Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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