Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
