her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
