He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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