whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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