hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
