We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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