I want to walk on stilts...naked
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
