I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
