He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
