guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
