just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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