Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
