What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
