I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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