I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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