i think my tv is drunk
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
