My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
