After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
