Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
