what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
