first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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