we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
