My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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