sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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