idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
